Isn’t it amazing how everything can change in a moment. Where anything still and peaceful could feel nowhere near. In a next moment, here I am just as I am. All the chasing and aversion fades back and life stands in its bareness. These aren’t my eyes I say. I never saw the ordinariness like this before. I never realised how much a part of all this I am. I see no matter how hard I try, there is simply nothing I can do about it. I belong as all life does. Life not to be measured, rather felt as experience. Fluid movement that complement the dance echoed in the stars.
It’s clear to me that right now I need to cultivate trust in life and move with currents that present themselves. Sometimes I don’t want or feel to. I kick and scream and fall into the mental trap of wanting things to be different. Very little movement possible from there because no matter how much I resist, things are as they are. I love the music of Estas Tonne who recently said that we can be like little children beating our drums, wanting it the way we want it.
Not so said life. Not getting our way is part of the fabric of life. I sometimes find myself sulking about how things are. There is so much to beat my drum against – pandemic, work, family, social stresses and on. But how does it help to be in that state ? Feels to me like going nowhere quickly so I am better served to acknowledge my resistance for what it is and accept life on its terms.
That means saying yes to the pandemic and the ways social, economic and political life is at the moment. ‘No’ doesn’t change anything and all too often makes things worse. ‘Yes’ brings the benefit of an easing in the nervous system and an opening to the intelligence of life. Resistance closes me down where acceptance opens me up to the strength in feeling connected to my life, ancestors, great mystery, this universal intelligence all round. I think I am best served to relax my resistance and not be so hard on myself when I can’t or won’t. Many little steps in the right direction feels like a much better plan with a good dose of patience and forgiveness along the way.