Another way of seeing resilience is self care and maybe this is closer to the essence of whats it means to be resilient – to care enough about yourself so as to follow the natural movements that help restore balance and harmony in your life.
Natural movements are the ones that connect our egos with the life intelligence inside us, that life force that knows beyond our limited thinking patterns and we know when we’re following it because it feels good. Not in a fleeting or ephemeral way but rather in the ways we start to connect with the ground underneath our feet, with the knowing that regardless of what happens we are held by life (even when we feel just the opposite!). Life still has us, the earth still supports us. We are still breathing, heart beating, life still expressing in a myriad of ways all around us.
In any moment we can stop and notice just how beautiful this all is, what a miracle it is. Not in the way that we think about but rather in the lived experience of being awake to ourselves. From this place, at the centre of our own circle, life comes streaming in and when we let it, will move us in all the right ways towards the destiny we long to walk, the life that is only ours to live.
The cost is simply being willing to meet the unpleasantness and disease in our systems. To turn towards ourselves, bringing our attention into the body and little bit at a time, to meet what is there as it is. Not in a way of attaining some kind of end goal but rather in the willingness to embrace the entire spectrum of human experience which includes both pain and pleasure.
The good news is the benefit of doing this far outweighs the cost. The result of a consistent practice of coming home to ourselves is that we see that this is what we are really looking for, more so than any material or social attainment. The experience of simply being present and available to life, living the life that calls to us moment by moment. Less stuck in past patterns or fixated with future projections. Rather a gradual surrender to the shape and form that is our life right now.
What I notice in my own practice as well as the people I coach, is that the most important principle is to slow down. Even if its speeding up you want, slowing down will get you there faster.
Slow down consistently as you move through your day. Pay attention to how you feel, whats happening in your body and when you need to, stop from time to time. A pause here and there can make all the difference because you give your system a chance to reset itself. Expect some discomfort in the beginning but know that you will get better at handling it. Like Ken Wilber famously says, it can hurt more sometimes but also bothers you less as you practice. That’s the paradox of paying attention, it not like the pain goes away. Its just not what we thought it was and without our resistance to it, ones whole experience changes.