This week the main project is simply to witness and name your firefighting activities. You might bring  them in to your writing, and get curious about what they do for you, and when they get activated.

The aim is not to reach some perfect place where we never watch Netflix again!  Its moderation and balance that we’re aiming for. So keep a look out for when you see your firefighters  in more extreme roles. Sometime its subtle, not so easy to see how you just lost 15 mins on Instagram,  or got  lost  in meaningless activity, people or food. There are countless ways they operate. But all with the same directive – make you feel better,  take you away from what you don’t want to experience  or feel.

Recap on protectors and firefighter in the words of lead trainer in IFS, Tamala Floyd.

“When we are born, our parts are in their natural state. In most cases, they are not burdened. They can express the full nature of who they are: playful, curious, calm, free, loving, to name a few. However, as children, when our needs for attention, affection, acceptance, and nurturance go unmet, are made fun of, or are denied, our natural ways of being become exiled. We learn that it isn’t safe to be fully who we are. We learn that parts of us are unlovable, not good enough, shameful, and should be hidden. Parts take on roles to protect us from feeling these strong feelings of worthlessness. They do this in one of two ways: They keep us from experiencing the strong feelings by controlling everything they can, keeping us too busy, focused on other things, or distracted to feel our unmet needs. Or, when something in our life triggers our feelings of not-good-enough or shame, parts swoop in to douse the severity of these feelings with intense distractions to take the attention off the emotional pain. We call both these types of parts “protectors.” Some protectors protect in a proactive way to keep us feeling secure and from feeling pain and vulnerability. These are called managers because their role is to manage our lives so as to protect us from pain. These parts make a vow to work relentlessly so we never experience the hurt we felt before they took on the job of protecting us.

Carefree exiled her innate nature when she believed it was no longer valued. She searched around her to find what was of value and discovered that those closest to Carefree—her parents, teachers, and relatives—liked her most when she fit their ideal of her. By pleasing others, Carefree did not have to feel the pain of not being good enough. Her true self felt not enough to receive the love and attention from those most important to her. To ensure she didn’t have to feel that pain, she became what others needed and expected, and in return she received love and approval. Carefree decided that if she couldn’t be accepted and loved for who she was, she would contort herself into someone others couldn’t help but love, accept, and approve of. Here are a few examples of how managers operate. Parts may have learned to protect by being high-achieving, depressed, or perfect.

The high-achieving part may believe that the only way to have value is to out-achieve everyone else, and if the person receives praise for the strategies of this part, the part’s beliefs and behaviors are rewarded. A part that is depressed may remain in a state of hopelessness to protect the system from feeling something worse, like shame. Another way managers may protect us from feeling inadequate is by pursuing perfection. The perfectionistic part may believe that if it does everything perfectly, we will always feel good enough and we won’t have to experience the pain connected to feelings of worthlessness. The parts in these examples use these strategies as an attempt to protect us by managing and controlling the external environment, people, and situations to ensure that the parts of us who have been wounded are not hurt again. We also have parts that protect in a reactive manner by extinguishing the pain once we are already experiencing it. We call these parts firefighters.

Behaviours, beliefs, and strategies they have developed are automatic, and they believe there are no alternatives. These reactive parts use tactics like dissociation, overeating, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts or actions because anything, even if it hurts us in some way, is better than the overwhelming feeling of vulnerability. When vulnerability is expressed, a reactive part may employ dissociation to take us away from feeling exposed. In the part’s mind, it is more desirable to be mentally whisked away from a situation than to risk emotional exposure or harm. Another shutdown tactic of reactive firefighter parts is self-harm. When the pain of wounded parts gets triggered, a part who uses self-harm may spring into action. The focus is immediately drawn away from emotional pain to the activity of harming the body. In a more extreme case, parts with suicidal thoughts/ actions are protecting us too. Although this sounds counterintuitive, these parts remind us that if the pain becomes unbearable, we have a way out. The irony of parts with suicidal behaviours is they do not want us to die. They want the pain of living to cease and have no idea how to make that happen other than to kill us.

1. Reaction Formation (Type 1: The Reformer/Perfectionist)

• Defence Mechanism: Reaction formation involves acting in the opposite way of how one truly feels, especially with impulses that seem morally wrong or “imperfect.”
• IFS Firefighter Role: Firefighters help by overcompensating with strict adherence to rules or perfection, avoiding unacceptable impulses. Sometimes, they may use distractions like alcohol to relieve the intense pressure of being “perfect.”
• Example: A person feels frustrated or angry but acts overly accommodating to maintain their sense of moral superiority. Later, they might drink alcohol to relax and escape the rigid standards they impose on themselves.

2. Repression (Type 2: The Helper)

• Defence Mechanism: Repression involves denying or pushing down personal needs and desires to focus on the needs of others.
• IFS Firefighter Role: Firefighters repress feelings of neediness or selfishness, ensuring the Type 2 focuses on caregiving. To avoid dealing with their own unmet emotional needs, they may use sugar or sweet foods as a way to distract themselves and feel comfort.
• Example: A person is exhausted but represses their own needs to care for others. Later, they might indulge in sweets or comfort foods to soothe themselves, masking their feelings of being emotionally drained or unloved.

3. Identification (Type 3: The Achiever)

• Defence Mechanism: Identification involves over-identifying with a role or persona, avoiding feelings of inadequacy by becoming the image of success.
• IFS Firefighter Role: Firefighters push the Type 3 to focus obsessively on achievement and success to avoid confronting feelings of worthlessness. They might use excessive work or caffeine to maintain their productivity and avoid facing deeper insecurities.
• Example: A person feels anxious about not being enough but channels this into working overtime and drinking large amounts of coffee or energy drinks to sustain the pace, avoiding downtime where feelings of inadequacy might surface.

4. Introjection (Type 4: The Individualist)

• Defence Mechanism: Introjection involves taking on negative emotions or judgments from others, internalising them as personal flaws.
• IFS Firefighter Role: Firefighters step in by amplifying melancholy or dramatic emotional responses, distancing the individual from external criticism. They might use music, art, or excessive daydreaming to escape from feelings of worthlessness or rejection.
• Example: A person feels rejected or misunderstood but instead of confronting these emotions, they retreat into listening to melancholic music or creating dramatic art to express their inner turmoil and reinforce their sense of being special in their suffering.

5. Isolation (Type 5: The Investigator)

• Defence Mechanism: Isolation means cutting off from emotions and others to avoid feeling overwhelmed or intruded upon.
• IFS Firefighter Role: Firefighters encourage intellectual pursuits or extreme solitude to keep the person from confronting emotional needs or intimacy. They might binge-watch documentaries, deep-dive into research, or lose themselves in reading to avoid feeling vulnerable.
• Example: A person avoids dealing with an emotionally charged conversation by retreating into an intellectual rabbit hole—reading or watching documentaries for hours—effectively distancing themselves from any emotional involvement.

6. Projection (Type 6: The Loyalist)

• Defence Mechanism: Projection involves attributing internal fears and doubts to external threats, avoiding feelings of internal insecurity.
• IFS Firefighter Role: Firefighters constantly scan the environment for potential threats or safety concerns, protecting the Type 6 from confronting their inner anxiety. They might use obsessive planning, over-researching, or even conspiracy theories to distract from their underlying fears.
• Example: A person feels anxious about their relationship but, instead of recognising their own insecurities, they begin obsessively researching all the ways relationships can fail, convinced that there’s an external threat they must prepare for.

7. Rationalisation (Type 7: The Enthusiast)

• Defence Mechanism: Rationalisation involves justifying impulsive actions to avoid confronting underlying pain or discomfort.
• IFS Firefighter Role: Firefighters encourage the Type 7 to stay busy, using distractions like travel, food, or spontaneous activities to avoid emotional pain. They might use shopping, travel planning, or trying out new experiences to numb the discomfort.
• Example: A person feels lonely but instead of sitting with that feeling, they plan a spontaneous vacation or go on a shopping spree, convincing themselves that they’re just “enjoying life” rather than avoiding their underlying sadness.

8. Denial (Type 8: The Challenger)

• Defence Mechanism: Denial involves rejecting vulnerability or weakness, often focusing on control and power.
• IFS Firefighter Role: Firefighters reinforce strength and control to protect against feelings of helplessness or vulnerability. They might use excessive exercise, intense work routines, or even aggressive behaviours to avoid acknowledging any weakness.
• Example: A person who feels emotionally hurt in a relationship might refuse to acknowledge their vulnerability and instead work out intensely at the gym or throw themselves into competitive activities, denying any emotional pain.

9. Narcotization (Type 9: The Peacemaker)

• Defence Mechanism: Narcotisation involves numbing out or avoiding discomfort by engaging in routine, mindless, or comforting activities.
• IFS Firefighter Role: Firefighters encourage activities that numb the Type 9, like binge-watching TV, overeating, or procrastination, to avoid dealing with conflict or inner tension.
• Example: A person avoids confronting an important issue in their relationship by binge-watching TV shows or snacking on comfort foods, numbing themselves from the discomfort of potential conflict.