Robert Greene, a renowned author known for his influential works on strategy, power, and human behaviour, including The 48 Laws of Power and The Art of Seduction, has emphasised the importance of social intelligence throughout his writings. He argues that mastering social dynamics is essential for everyone, we’re social creatures and in order survive (and thrive!) in the world, we must develop our social intelligence. According to him, understanding human nature and interpersonal cues allows you to navigate complex relationships with finesse, avoid manipulation, and become more effective in achieving your goals.
The key step to developing social intelligence, as Greene highlights, is learning to observe others without judgment. Our narcissistic like tendencies often keep us focused on our own needs and desires. To become more socially intelligent—or from an IFS perspective, for our managers to express themselves in healthier ways—the solution is simpler than you might think: become genuinely interested in other people. Listen more, ask questions, and cultivate true curiosity about their worldview. What follows are Hornevian styles, or the different ways our managers try to get what they want.
These social styles are inspired by Karen Horney, a prominent 20th-century psychoanalyst, who developed a theory of personality emphasising how social and cultural factors shape our behaviour and self-concept. One of her significant contributions is her theory of social styles (or interpersonal orientations), which describe the ways individuals cope with the challenges and demands of life. These are personality strategies that reflect how we navigate social spaces to get what we want.
Horney identified three primary social styles, each reflecting a different approach to managing interpersonal relationships and achieving a sense of security:
- Moving Toward People (Compliant Type): People with this style seek approval, love, and acceptance from others. They often strive to please and conform to the expectations of those around them, trying to avoid conflict and gain support. This style is characterized by a need for affection and a tendency to be overly dependent on others for validation and security.
- Moving Against People (Aggressive Type): Individuals with this orientation adopt a more assertive or competitive stance. They may display aggression, dominance, and a need to control their environment to feel secure. This style often involves striving for power and success, with a focus on winning and maintaining a position of strength. People with this orientation might struggle with vulnerability and often view relationships in terms of power dynamics.
- Moving Away from People (Detached Type): Those who adopt this style tend to withdraw from others and seek self-sufficiency. They often value independence and may prioritise personal space and autonomy over close relationships. This style is characterised by a desire to avoid emotional involvement and dependency, leading to a more solitary or reserved approach to life.

Enneagram type groupings
Assertive Types (3, 7, 8) – Moving Against People
These types cope by asserting themselves in the world, actively seeking to shape their environment and take control of their circumstances. They manage vulnerability by adopting a stance of strength, pushing against challenges, and driving toward goals.
Type 3: The Achiever
Type 3 embodies assertive style by focusing on external success and image. Threes move against the world by striving to achieve and stand out through accomplishments. Their core belief is that their value comes from what they do, so they continually push themselves to reach the top. However, this assertiveness is driven by a need to avoid failure and maintain control over how they are perceived.
- Key Social Style: Assertiveness comes from constantly seeking recognition, moving forward with relentless ambition to control their image and avoid being seen as inadequate.
Type 7: The Enthusiast
Sevens express the assertive style by constantly seeking new experiences and excitement. Their strategy is to avoid discomfort by staying on the move, filling life with stimulation and options. They assert themselves through their optimism and energy, pushing away constraints and potential pain. Their drive to assert freedom and avoid limitations shows a kind of boldness in navigating life, though it is also a way to avoid deeper feelings.
- Key Social Style: Assertiveness manifests as an optimistic drive to experience life fully, moving against boredom or suffering by seeking pleasure and freedom.
Type 8: The Challenger
Type 8 is the quintessential assertive type. Eights move against the world by asserting power and control, seeking to protect themselves and others from harm. This behaviour is rooted in a deep need to avoid vulnerability. Eights challenge the environment head-on, positioning themselves as leaders or defenders, believing that only through strength and direct action can they maintain security.
- Key Social Style: Assertiveness is direct, powerful, and sometimes confrontational, with a belief that controlling the environment is the only way to stay safe.
Compliant Types (1, 2, 6) – Moving Toward People
These types manage stress by aligning with external expectations, seeking approval, and maintaining loyalty to others. Their orientation is toward pleasing or conforming in order to gain security or love.
Type 1: The Reformer
Type 1 expresses compliance through a commitment to doing what is “right.” Ones move toward others by following rules and high standards, believing that adhering to a moral or ethical code will earn them approval and maintain order. Their compliant nature is a way to avoid criticism and inner turmoil, as they seek validation through perfectionism.
- Key Social Style: Compliance manifests as an alignment with ideals and a drive to meet external (or self-imposed) standards, believing that only through correctness can they gain approval.
Type 2: The Helper
For Type 2, compliance comes through a focus on pleasing others and earning love through service. Twos move toward people by anticipating and meeting their needs, often suppressing their own desires. Their compliant strategy stems from a belief that they must be indispensable to others to feel worthy of love. Twos use their nurturing and helpfulness as a way to gain affection and avoid rejection.
- Key Social Style: Compliance is rooted in meeting others’ needs, driven by a desire for connection and love, believing that this will secure their place in relationships.
Type 6: The Loyalist
Type 6 expresses compliance by seeking security through loyalty and aligning with trusted authorities or groups. Sixes move toward people by forming alliances, seeking guidance, and following rules that they believe will keep them safe. Their compliant style is fuelled by anxiety about uncertainty, so they look to external sources of stability, either through devotion to others or by adhering to structures that promise security.
- Key Social Style: Compliance shows up in their loyalty to others, rules, or beliefs, driven by a need to feel supported and avoid the fear of instability.
Withdrawn Types (4, 5, 9) – Moving Away from People
These types manage stress by withdrawing from external demands, seeking safety or fulfilment in their inner world. They move away from people to avoid overwhelming interactions, emotional stress, or conflict.
Type 4: The Individualist
Type 4’s withdrawn style as a strategy to protect their deep sense of self. Fours withdraw emotionally to reflect on their identity, often feeling different from others. They move away from the world when they feel misunderstood or disconnected, retreating into their inner life to explore their feelings. Their withdrawal is a way of preserving their uniqueness and avoiding being engulfed by others’ expectations.
- Key Social Style: Withdrawal is emotional, focused on retreating into the self to explore and express their individuality, seeking to avoid feeling misunderstood or emotionally overwhelmed.
Type 5: The Investigator
Type 5 exemplifies Horney’s withdrawn style by retreating into intellectual detachment and self-sufficiency. Fives move away from people to conserve energy and protect themselves from being overwhelmed. Their strategy is to retreat into their minds, accumulating knowledge while maintaining a safe distance from the emotional demands of others. Withdrawal for Fives is about creating boundaries and maintaining autonomy.
- Key Social Style: Withdrawal is intellectual and physical, driven by a need to protect themselves from overwhelm, believing they can only maintain control by limiting engagement with others.
Type 9: The Peacemaker
Type 9’s withdrawn style is expressed through a tendency to avoid conflict and emotional intensity. Nines move away from people by numbing themselves or disengaging from challenging situations. Their withdrawal helps them maintain inner peace, but it also leads to a disconnection from their own desires and priorities. Nines often merge with others to avoid disruption, quietly withdrawing from their own sense of self.
- Key Social Style: Withdrawal is passive, aimed at avoiding conflict and maintaining harmony, driven by a desire to keep the peace at the expense of their own voice and needs.