Author: Ryan Klette

  • if paper had a voice

    if paper had a voice

    Julia Cameron’s book the sound of paper is a real gem if  you’re interested in giving your creative powers a little air time.  I think if  paper had an interest it would  be to draw more of  us out, especially the parts that are dying for a chance to say something without being censored.

    If you are anything like me, you know what it means to censor yourself. I have done such a good job of it that in many instances I won’t write anything for fear of being face to face with yet another imperfect mess.  When I listen to the paper however,  it’s an entirely different story.  Paper simply doesn’t judge and what a refuge that is. If paper had anything to say about anything, I imagine it would be something like better out then in, which brings me to my point –  why I think journaling is an invaluable practice.

    Here is my why. The same thought that disturbed me yesterday has space to be on the page today. In that simple act of writing it down a natural letting go can happen. All because I acknowledged what was there so that when I think it again which I am bound to do, the effect changes. It doesn’t disturb me in the same way it did and what a miracle that is. And if it is a pattern of thinking I stumble upon, the same principle applies. Given time I can relax my resistance to the pattern and in that a novel response to what was otherwise set can emerge.

  • In the midst of chaos

    In the midst of chaos

    It feels like an especially important week to keep up my practice. I’ve been seeing how inexplicably we are connected to the greater whole. I’ve had a lot going on in my body, much of it because of what we are going through as a (South Africa) nation. It sometimes feels almost impossible to stay in the body. But I keep seeing that every time I do there is chance for more peace because all these currents are temporary and in continual change. Energy rises and falls. My clinging to anything in this rise and fall becomes my suffering. Let go the little voice in my heart tells me.

    And stay with it for any length of time and there will be a relaxation, even if very small. But that’s all it takes sometimes, just giving ourselves a little relief tipping the scales in the direction of regulation and balance. A moment of being still and just being with the body exactly as it is. what now ? and now ? what next ? experiencing the sensation directly. Allowing, accepting, breathing, resourcing. It all passes. As Loch Kelly likes to say, Unhook from the mind and let your attention drop into the body. We must unhook because the mind gets in the way. It is storied by its very nature. We need to relax the story we have about the world and our life in it so we can allow the energies in the body some breathing space. Given time, the body comes to rest.

    Key: Receive the condition of the body, the heart and the mind just as it is. Although it can feel very personal, is it really ? how much did you choose to think, feel or act in that way ? are you in control of the next thought you have or the next emotion you experience ? what does it feel like if very little of this is personal ? An important choice I see is our ability to bring our awareness to our condition with kindness. From there change is natural, we are in the currents of effortless evolution both collectively and individually. Effort of course is needed but absent of force. Flow.

  • Beating our drum in harmony

    Beating our drum in harmony

    Isn’t it amazing how everything can change in a moment. Where anything still and peaceful could feel nowhere near. In a next moment, here I am just as I am. All the chasing and aversion fades back and life stands in its bareness. These aren’t my eyes I say. I never saw  the ordinariness like this before.  I never realised how much a part of all this I am. I see no matter how hard I try, there is simply nothing I can do about it. I belong as all life does.  Life not to be measured,  rather felt as experience. Fluid movement that complement the dance echoed in the stars.

     

    It’s clear to me that right now I need to cultivate trust in life and move with currents that present themselves. Sometimes I don’t want or feel to. I kick and scream and fall into the mental trap of wanting things to be different. Very little movement possible from there because no matter how much I resist, things are as they are. I love the music of Estas Tonne who recently said that we can be like little children beating our drums, wanting it the way we want it.

     

    Not so said life. Not getting our way is part of the fabric of life. I sometimes find myself sulking about how things are. There is so much to beat my drum against – pandemic, work, family, social stresses and on.  But how does it help to be in that state ?  Feels to me like going nowhere quickly so I am better served to acknowledge my resistance for what it is and accept life on its terms.

     

    That means saying yes to the pandemic and the ways social, economic and political life is at the moment. ‘No’ doesn’t change anything and all too often makes things worse.  ‘Yes’ brings the benefit of an easing  in the  nervous  system and an opening to the intelligence of life.  Resistance closes me down where acceptance opens me up to the strength in feeling connected to my life, ancestors, great mystery, this universal intelligence all round. I think I am best served to relax my resistance and not be so hard on myself when I can’t or won’t. Many little steps in the right direction feels like a much better plan with a good dose of patience and forgiveness along the way.

  • In defense of our protectors

    In defense of our protectors

  • Locating self

    Locating self

    When we are standing in the truth of who we are it seems kind of ridiculous that we run these patterns and  yet we do. Whats more is we see they are  not so easy to stop. They don’t respond to force or will very well although there is also no need to get rid of intention. We  need to stay close to our will and keep sharpening our focus but this alone can only take us so far mostly because will is unreliable.  One day we may feel totally inspired to change and do all we can to make that happen while the next we might not want to move a bone in the body. Ok a little extreme but  you get my point, we can’t count  on will.

    We need something else to help us find more creative ways in dealing with unconscious and automatic behaviors that can hold us back in fundamental ways or just make our lives harder than they need to be. I am not suggesting in any way that we need to transcend our humanity, that would be even less productive then autopilot.  There are always going to be growing points, stretches we need to make so we can evolve our lives. As Joseph Campbell said, its our imperfections that make us beautiful. The Gods  he said, are jealous of us for that reason. Its whats gives life juice and also a reservoir of life energy. Not discounting physical health but if we feel depleted and in need of energy, its one of the first things to check – what behaviors am I running that may be draining my energy ? 

    This is why we explore personality, the shape and condition we find ourselves in.  To the earlier point, the key partner for intention is kind attention. Its in the willingness to see ourselves as we are that makes change more possible.  When we pay attention to ourselves, we give space for intuition and an inner movement that opens us to goodness. Not goodness that avoids pain but goodness that moves us through it.